So the other day I was talking to a good friend of mine, and it got me thinking about one of my practices that I feel has changed my life in a lot of ways. I think it's something that could really benefit everyone on a big and small scale, whether you take it completely seriously, or just have fun with it.
What I am talking about is having impossible goals. This is something that anyone can choose to do, no matter who you are or where you are from, regardless of your circumstances or your income, or your status. To me, the whole point of life is to enjoy the journey of it, to live freely in the present without being chained to worries of the future, or regret from the past. But how do you set yourself up to have that kind of journey? If you're working 40-50 hours a week, bummed and stressed, and just feel like the journey has become an endless repetition of this cycle created by society to keep us cuffed, where can you find it?
For me, I have always found freedom and adventure in impossible dreams. And I'm legit talking about something that to YOU should feel preposterous. And when I say set an impossible dream, I don't just mean say it. Follow it. Chase it. Believe it is possible no matter what ANYONE else says. There is strength in that! Talk about it, share your passion about it, and I think you'll find something start to change within you. You'll begin to take little moments of your day to read about it, to research and learn, you might even adjust your diet and exercise routine to adapt towards it. This is the beginning of change, which we all know to be a very healthy thing. Either way, this I know for sure: The greatest adventures in life almost always come from the pursuit of something that once seemed impossible. And who is anyone to tell anyone that something is or isn't possible?
Don't let other people, or most importantly, yourself, hold you down.
It is best to assume the perspective that we have ONE LIFE. That way, no matter what happens afterwards, you did not squander it. Cherish it.
The rad thing about having impossible dreams is that it trains your mind to start thinking in a different way. Just because you are an adult does not for a second mean that you are done learning, done growing, done changing. Society would have you believe that, but don't let the hypnotism fool you. You will learn to analyze different situations and not necessarily back away from things you might have immediately turned a cold shoulder to before. That's called courage. And I know you have it.
I have been trying to learn how to levitate since I was 14 years old. Yeah, straight up levitation. I've researched many things, attempted long meditations, and once tried so hard to mentally move a lighter that I fainted and woke up on the ground. I'll be in Nepal in February, and you better believe I'll be training with the monks to see if they have any insight into doing this. Sure, it seems ridiculous. But so did flying in the sky 200 years ago. So did going to the moon 100 years ago. And so did talking on a device halfway around the world 50 years ago. Everything that we know of is made of energy is it not? Why should it be crazy to assume we could learn to harness and control that energy? The greatest barrier for mankind is a barrier that we ourselves create. We let those around us deem something is impossible, and therefore accept it. But what if you don't? What if you fight back against it? Who knows what you'll find, but I bet you it is damn worth it.
I originally started climbing because of a petrifying fear of heights. When I was 23, I decided that I was going to face all of my fears one by one, and so I did, and over the years, I got to the harder, more deep-rooted ones, many of which are entirely psychological. When I started climbing, I set my heart on Half Dome in Yosemite. That for me, was an impossible dream. Just watching someone climb it through a computer screen could bring a soft sweat to my palms. However, I knew only by challenging one of the biggest things out there, would I fully expose myself to my fear. Only then could I truly feel like I had faced it, embraced it, and let it go. And now, 4 years later, I feel myself steadily progressing closer and closer to that goal. It's starting to not seem so impossible after all. And every time I feel like it is just way out of my league, I tell myself that where I am currently, once also felt entirely out of my league, and that by the time I get to the point where I am climbing that big beautiful wall, I bet I'll be comfortable, and I bet I'll be smiling, and I'll know deep down in my heart that nothing is impossible, that the only difficulty lies in convincing your mind that it truly can be done.
Rene Descartes once said, "I think, therefore I am."
Recently I heard something a little different, and it was, "I am aware that I think, therefore I am." Do you ever find yourself watching yourself think? Are you aware that you think? That is a fine separation between the mind and something else. The mind is bound by the environment and society by which you were raised, but our consciousness is not, and we live in this illusion that keeps us chained from the most beautiful things in life. Sometimes, you have to trick your mind into believing something that it won't. It can be done. And the first step is choosing to do something ridiculous, something that defies logic, defies your mind: perhaps have impossible dreams?
Do you wanna be an Astronaut? To surf big waves? To see the Northern Lights? Write a book? Be an actress? Whatever these things are, they will not seem impossible to everyone, but what is important is that they feel impossible to you, and the greatest thing you can do for yourself is wake up, look in the mirror, and tell yourself that you're going to chase it. For you, and you alone.
Been a little while since I posted on here, honestly just been working so much and dealing with things that I needed a break from everything. One of the reasons I love climbing so much is how much it forces you to face failure, and move past it. I’ve been writing for almost 8 years now, and so far I have been rejected by over 200 agents, which let me tell you, a single rejection can lead to a rough night. I recently flew out to NY City to meet with the Speculative Fantasy Editor of Penguin Random House; a lovely, soft spoken lady who always spoke with her hands folded curtly over her lap. I thought that it was finally my big break, that after all these years, we would finally break through the doors of the bigger publishing companies, but to no avail. A month later I received her single sentence rejection email on the construction floor of a job after working 22 days straight, and just felt completely and utterly broken.
I went through a lot since then, really wondering what I want out of writing, and if I had it in me to keep trying despite what looks like a completely lost cause, and for a while I was stagnant, kind of like a windmill with no breeze.
Motionless. I hate motionless.
This is where my love of climbing really shines, because when I looked back I think I’ve probably been rejected by thousands of problems in the years I’ve been climbing, so why am I still doing it? It’s because I love the art of climbing, and I know that I also love the art of writing.
The point I want to stress to you guys is that life is full of failure, I mean, the definition of success is often the culmination’s of many failures, right? So I’m sure lots of you are going through things that are tough, and make you want to throw in the towel, but if deep down in your heart you know you want something, keep fighting for it, and one day you’ll make it.
I’m not giving up. I’ll be better. I’ll do better. Whatever it takes, screw it. And I know you can too.
PS it looks like I’m going to Nepal in February to be living in a Buddhist Monastery for 22 days. Super grateful for this opportunity to clear my mind, heart and spirit. Always wanted to spend some time training with the Monks in the mountains.
Today I want to talk about a few things I’ve learned throughout my journey into Spirituality, and how this journey has come to change not only my life, but my breathing name, or one of them, at least.
I️ believe that everybody knows the words fact and truth. I️ have spent many long hours contemplating the difference between these two words, and what I️ have found is that for me, Fact is something that is true in relation to the knowledge that we as humans have created since our creation. I️ believe Truth is something that existed before we did. I️ also believe that Eternal Truths (there are several) are far less common than facts, yet far more valuable if you understand them. Remember, Knowledge of something does not imply Understanding. They are different words for a reason.
For example, one of the Eternal Truths is Change. Change has been and always will be. It existed before us and will continue after us. Understanding Change allows one to more easily go with the flow of life, to be like water, and to be open to becoming something that you may not be, and possibly want to be. I️ have noticed that for many people, the older you are, the more resistant to change one becomes. I️ believe that this resistance to Change comes from fear (another time I️ will speak of fear and how I️ came to look at it as a friend instead of an enemy), and the strain one feels in fighting it ages you far faster than one who simply lives in the rhythm of the present.
Your purpose in life should be to live ONLY in the present, if you can learn, and to seek the Eternal Truths.
I️ have spent several years seeking the Eternal Truths now, and look for them in places I️ once would have never expected. Climbing for me is one of these things. It has taught me many things, along with the study of Earth as an element, much like surfing taught me about water. Understanding is often hard to capture with words, thus is the challenge of writing, so I️ will not try to explain what I have learned here, because it is better for one to seek these things on their own.
If you think Understanding can be explained, you are right and wrong, for some things simply cannot be captured by words. They are only so powerful. For example, could you explain the color blue to a blind man? You can offer him Knowledge of it, but he will not understand.
The purpose of this post is to announce that I️ will be making a slight change to my pen name, or what I️ consider my breathing name: a name I️ chose as my own, and what that can and will
change as I️ change. If you know me well, you know that I️ have a fascination with the names of things. Fire. Wind. Sky. Who named these, and how? What were their names before we named them?
I️ believe the Art of Naming is very old and seldom practiced any more. But I️ believe a good Namer can capture the essence of one’s spirit, to learn one’s true name if you will.
I️ have several close friends I️ consider family that over the past decade, have oftentimes known me as a name that many of you have most likely not heard me called. There are many reasons I have been called this, and I️ want to explain why I️ have decided to change my pen name to this one.
This name is Bodhi.
I️ believe my breathing name represents my spirit. It is the name I️ have chosen for myself based upon my journey to learn who I️ am. And this journey will never end, I️ imagine.
Trowa is a name I️ chose for myself when I️ was 9 years old. I️ heard it and knew that it was mine, and have kept it since then.
Cloud is the name of my favorite fictional character, one whose story has impacted my life more so than any other. Many of you know the story of Cloud, and if you don’t, maybe you can learn something from it, as I️ did.
The D. Is a secret that even I️ have not unearthed. One day I️ hope it will be revealed to me. Only time will tell.
The name I️ now choose as mine is Bodhi D. Cloud. Trowa is a name I related to when I️ was younger, but less and less as I️ grew.
If you do not know, Bodhi means Awakening. It is the state into which Buddha found Nirvana, and although I️ have only glimpsed this temporarily, I️ believe one day I️ will learn to live in this form, and maintain it.
The Bodhi Tree is also the place where Buddha found Nirvana. I have a deep love for Buddhism, tho I️ actually do not consider myself religious. I am simply Consciousness. However, the beliefs I️ have come to find on my own resonate strongly with the Buddhist beliefs. I️ consider myself a student of Zen, and tho I️ may not go to the school, I️ study from afar and in my own way.
I️ believe I️ have been in a state of awakening for quite some time now, and have been learning how to resist Samsara (quite difficult). Samsara is a conditioned state of mind, one that leads to negative emotions and unhealthy actions. It is this ignorant state of mind that is the cause of all suffering. My approach to this was to open my arms to Samsara, to learn and see what and why I️ will choose to resist this state of mind. Coming back through that gateway has and is a very strenuous and difficult process, one that I️ am still struggling with.
In Buddhism, Bodhicitta is the mind that strives towards awakening, empathy and compassion for all sentient beings.
A Bohdisattva is one who has found awakening, but chooses to delay taking this form because of compassion for beings who are still suffering.
I️ choose to write not only because I️ love stories, but with the hopes that one day my understanding will be passed down. I️ wish to make a contribution to Literature, and I️ also feel a debt of gratitude that I️ owe to the next generation. The artists of the past have helped me grow into the man I️ am today, and I️ feel as if I️ was handed a state of mind from their stories and worlds. Because I️ now hold this state of mind, this understanding of truth in stories if you will, I️ feel responsible in passing it down, just as it was passed down to myself.
For a long time I️ pondered how it is that we are all one. My current conclusion is that it is in consciousness that we are one. We have 6 senses. Yes, 6. The final one is Instinct. It is something that as a result of our lifestyle, has been dulled over time. But all of you have felt it from time to time. It is in your best interest to learn how to better control this Instinct, at least in my opinion, you might try.
It is good to know that senses are the doors for our consciousness into this material world. Without them, our consciousness just is. I️ believe that consciousness all comes from the same place, and that each person is different because of the environment of this material world and how it has swayed one’s beliefs. How you think and how you feel creates your state of being. I️ believe everyone understands the Eternal Truths, even if they do not. It is within you, what is right, what is wrong, the things you understand because you feel, not because you think. I️ hope you will try to find these Truths, to search for what is real and what is not, and what is truly worth living for.
To bring this to an end, I️ wrote this on my phone in a little Internet cafe in Tokyo, so it is a bit vague, but I️ wanted to explain why I️ will be changing my breathing name, despite what I️ will lose in the process, and I️ hope you all will accept this name, for it is more a representation of my soul than any other I️ can find. At least, for now.
Sorry about the delay in posts. I have been, well . . . Far too busy for my likes.
Here is a brief recap!
No More Heroes: Being the First Part of the Curseborn Saga is set for an exclusive release at Anime Expo 2017. However, this is not to say that there will not be a subsequent publication for all of you that cannot make it to the event. We cannot say for sure as of yet though, if the publication outside of AX will happen. Will keep everyone posted.
No More Heroes is, my first officially finished work in the CBS realm, and I am so pleased to be able to share it with you all soon! For those who have read the novellas, there are 5 extra chapters added into the book, and you should know that NMH is a fusion of novellas 1 and 2. It's going to be a wild ride. All newly remastered, this second edition has an explosive new prologue that shows you more of Caim and Storm's past. Actually . . . you can read a sneak peak of that prologue here on the site! Check out the No More Heroes: Teaser!!
On top of that, we have been in development of a video game for VR, suitably titled the CHAOS Project. It is being developed by Heroic Fox Studios, and it has been a real pleasure working with them so far. Led by Christian Boynton, I really feel as if their team will be able to capture the essence of the Four Lords Universe. For those who don't know, this game will feature the player playing as the arch villain of the book series .. man i wish there was an evil emoji I could plug in right about now. . . Haha, in any case, it's going to be super fun to play once it's out. You can see way more updates concerning it on our Instagram channel, CLICK HERE if you wanna check us out!
The last update is a secret. And you will all find out soon enough ^^/
Until next time!
So, as I'm sure some of you know and well, others probably don't, I am heavily and deeply inspired by Japanese storytelling. This includes anything from manga, anime and even certain video games (mainly the Final Fantasy Franchise, but there are also a few others).
A long time ago, when I was 13 years old, I got a copy of Final Fantasy VII, Tony Hawk's Pro Skater and Playstation One for my birthday. I think it was that day that really steered my life, as after skateboarding I went straight to surfing for a good 8 years, which eventually lead me into rock climbing, which is my current obsession/passion/everything.
But even more influential in my life than the Tony Hawk's PS, was the FFVII game. The story of Cloud and crew going out into the world to stop the evil Shinra corporation from destroying the planet really stuck with me. I mean, there's gotta be a place of interest my pseudonym came from right?
And after 18 years, SE finally decided to do a full remake of the game. I literally teared up when I saw the original release at E3, and it became very apparent to me in that moment how much of an impact FFVII has had on my life. So here's to the legacy of Cloud, Barrett, Tifa, Cid, Yuffie, Vincent, Cait Sith, Nanaki and Sephiroth. Without you guys, my childhood would have been a bland blend of homework, sneaking out, and partying. So thanks ^^/
Just wanted to let everyone know that I have begun work on a collaboration novel with Brandon Chen, the author of the Age of Darkness series. Seriously stoked to work with him, as I really like his style.
Here is a bit of a teaser for The Tale of Caesura
Imagine a world in which two nations govern many countries. The world is called Ilaeitha, and its two nations, Savrin and Caesura. Savrin and Caesura have been in a perpetual state of peace for nearly a thousand years, despite the fact that they have conflicting views on religion. The peace is held fast by a treaty signed by the royal families of each nation. But this story is not about peace. It is not about tranquility. It is about the Sacrificial War.
A thousand years ago, there was a war known by many names. To some, it was the creation war, the battle that brought new beginnings, but to others and to the many, it was more suitably remembered as the Sacrificial War.
You see, for as long I can remember, the two nations have been at peace. But that isn’t necessarily to say that they haven’t been at war. Before the Sacrificial War, the world was a state of bloodshed and madness. The two countries constantly ravaged each other, raided their villages, and attempted sacks of their cities. Tens of thousands died as the years passed.
At the time, the long since passed King Reya of Savrin, and Lady Tilith of Caesura arranged a meeting to discuss the peace. However, during the meeting their words became venomous, each of them estranged by their constricting beliefs, and thus, no peace was found of it. But eventually, as the blood and murder continued, they realized that something had to be done. So it was that they met again, and the Thousand Year Treaty was realized.
It was decided between the King of Savrin and the Queen of Caesura, that every 100 years, there would be a battle fought with chosen champions of each country. The victor in turn, would have the right to reign over Ilaeitha for 100 years until the next Sacrificial War, but that was not the end of it. It was decided that on the 10th Sacrificial War, a thousand years from the day it was signed, the winner would be declared the absolute victor, no matter how many previous losses or wins they had, and the wars would come to an end for good. The reigning victor would abolish the beliefs of the opposing nation and bring an end to the champion’s sacrifices for good. It was signed and declared, and the following year the first Sacrificial War came to be.
A long time ago these battles were fought in valleys and mountains, with swords and with shields. These were the times of old, before the rise of machinery, technology, and the vices with which we live our very lives today.
It has been a thousand years since the first Sacrificial War. . . .
And the time of reckoning has come.
MORE INFO CLICK HERE | TALE OF CAESURA |
Hey whats up all, I recently picked up a different game called I am Setsuna that I had originally bought and played but put down because of all my energy going into the books.
I'm writing this blog to say that although I am Setsuna is very similar to the story of FFX and the classic, Chrono Trigger, I think that it ended up being a really cool game to play. The story is very similar to FFX in the sense that Setsuna has to go on a pilgrimage to the Last Lands where she will essentially become a sacrifice and give her life to bring the world a temporary peace until it happens again (same exact plot of FFX). At first, I was pretty put away by the fact that SE, the same company that made FFX, copied their own content. BUT, at the end of the game there is a really cool twist, the character development of some of the characters actually turned out really well.
The gameplay is fun, and can definitely get hard! Because of some of the features of the game being unexplained, I made a few YouTube guides to help people with things such as max grinding for level 99, fluxation farming, secret bosses, ETC.
I put a link to my YouTube Channel on this post for anyone who wants to check it out, or just search for the channel Trowa D. Cloud |
Here is the trailer for I am Setsuna, just in case anyone wants to check it out!
Hey all, I have just put up a new short story from the now queryed, No More Heroes: Being the First Part of the Curseborn Saga !
Hope you like it, here's the link, or you can find it under Projects - Short Stories
Props to the artist, wish I had their name so I could give proper credit !
Hey whats up dudes!
Having just finished my first final script of No More Heroes, I decided that after waiting 10 years for FFXV, I would beat the game and all end-game content, which was absolutely amazing. Here is a video for how to get level 99 super easy . . .
For all those just finishing FFXV, I thought that since the story was sometimes a little vague and unclear, this video would help clear up the majesty that is Noctis' tale.